Robert Rodriguez and Machete.

MACHETE: Movie Trailer. Watch more top selected videos about: Cheech Marin, Danny Trejo

If you don't know who Robert Rodriguez is I suggest you educate yourself immediately, hes only one of the best directors around. Sin city, Desperado, El Mariachi, From Dusk Till Dawn, Grind house, Saw, do these movies ring a bell? Well, hes working on a new movie that will give you the best visual and audio orgasm you will ever experience. Oh, and the movie was inspired by a mock trailer created in the movie Grind house, if you haven't seen Grindhouse I suggest you see it immediately.
 Grind house is like a combination of comedy, action, and horror. You will see some action scenes that can only be found in comic books. For instance, one of the main female characters is missing a leg, so she attaches a machine gun to it, using it for balance, and to destroy anyone who wants a piece of her. But this post is not about Grindhouse, its about Machete. So, keeping that in mind, Machete is basically the story of a somewhat fierce looking Mexican, and his quest to dominate the planet by chopping everyone up in his path. At least thats what it looks like from the trailer, but Rodriguez knows what hes doing, so theres no need to start whining yet. Plus, we get the super shexy Jessica Alba to act for us, even though her acting abilities are somewhat questionable, shes still amusing to watch. Along with Danny Trejo, Steven Seagal, Robert De Niro Lindsay Lohan, and Michelle Rodriguez.
 Lindsay Lohan? Are you serious, alright, thats cool I guess, as long as she refrains from singing. Let just say, if my ears had an anus, I would not enjoy having Lindsay's large cock penetrate them. But yes, i do think she's hot, and no i don't hate her, its just her singing that gets on my nerves. She could pass as Justin Bieber if she cut her hair a little bit, I wouldn't be able to tell the two apart. Oh, and she can't act worth shit, but I'm sure shes a cool girl.
 Oh, and another pointless fact, Rodriguez directed the first Saw, the one that completely mind fucks you. Machete is supposed to come out sometime this year, and its rated R for the usual reasons, gore, sexual content, all the things that kids are into nowadays. I don't know about you guys, but I'm sure as hell gonna watch this movie as soon as it hits the cinemas. Having said that, my post is now officially over, fuck you very much.